just got back from hawaii.  it was soo amazing.  i was only there for about 7 full days, which wasn’t nearly enough time.  got sick as a dog while deep sea fishing, and ended up puking off of the boat … it was MISERABLE.  i wish levi had been gotten to go too.  it’s good being back home, getting to hang out with my boyfriend and all of my friends again.  i really need to totally unpack and do all of my laundry from the trip.  i’m currently watching the 1st season of The Hills hahah it’s hilarious.  life is good.  xo!

i still can’t even believe it’s march. things have been crazy lately. i’m so ready for an adventure it’s not even cool.

but i don’t know what to do or how to make it work.

i wish we could just move up north for a bit closer to kayla and aaron .. take some time off of school, see what it’s like to live somewhere you’ve never even been before .. start completely fresh.

there is nothing here for levi and me. it’s the same shit different day .. but over, and over, and over, and over. and it’s getting old … fast.

i feel like i’m at a crossroads but don’t even know the options for the different roads i could choose. i know levi hates it here, and i can’t live anywhere without him, but at this particular point i really can’t just pick up and move. (house, school, friends, family, everything i’ve ever known, etc.)

things will work out some way some how, i’m confident in that… it’s just this waiting/unknown time period that has me freaking out. i guess i’m not freaking out .. i’m just ready for a change .. and a big change!

school has taken over my life .. i mean it’s not that hard or anything .. but it’s time consuming and stressful and rather irrelevant at times. i have 3 tests this week. and i have 2 paper’s due within the next two weeks. (5-8 page papers) … GAG ME.

i need a break .. i need fresh air .. i need simplicity .. but most of all, i just need a change.

i also took my last puff last friday night, so i’m sure my emotions/everything is going crazy right now … but i’m at a point in my life where i’m sick of feeling no emotion and having no cares. i’m stopping for all the right reasons, and i’m really proud of myself. it’s not like i’ll never do it again, i’m just giving my body/brain the detox it deserves. it sucks because i feel like everything is so boring and i have nothing to do .. but now i’ll just get to be more creative. at least now i have the motivation to do things lol.

okay that’s all for now. i’ll update soon. xox.

i missed this theme. this was the first theme i ever had on my tumblr, haha.. so i got it back. i missed it lots. hmmmm. school starts on thursday and that seriously makes me want to die. i fucking hate school and i am SOOOOOOO sick of everything school related. i have shit to do today and i don’t want to do ANYTHING other than play halo and smoke things. and drink sweet tea. and hang out with friends and basically be as non-productive as possible. fuck fuck fuck. whatever, maybe this semester will turn out to be amazing. that would be pretty neat. we shall see. ok bye.

+kubota and i are cuddling on my purple couch right now.. i should really take a picture, but i look like hell.
na, jessica, and i stayed up until 4 o’clock this morning drinking champagne, smoking, eating cheese balls and eggs benedict, and watching charlie’s angels. the weather channel told us that we would more than likely get snowed in (or iced in, whatever) so we all decided to crash together so we wouldn’t be trapped alone and die of boredom. unfortunately, there was no snow/ice when we woke up. we still pretended it was a snow day anyway!
it was an absolutely gorgeous day.. the sun was shining, the air was clear, and everything was beautiful. we went exploring all around the town! it was quite nice.
mom and i have so much to do tomorrow, and all i want to do is sit around and play halo :/
oh well, i’m just lucky that she’s willing to help me get things accomplished. well, i’m off to play some halo and skype with my drunk friends. g’bye.

Yes, I am completely frozen. Wearing gloves and having an iPhone doesn’t mix. I really really really hate cleaning/organizing, but I love the end results. Ergh.

in irby.  DRAGGED myself to class because i thought it would be unacceptable to miss my lest day of lecture before the final, only to find out that class today was only for those taking a make-up test and if you want to know your average.  i was so pissed at first, but i’m now glad that i came because my average is a 78 (which is a C, and sucks) BUT honestly i thought i had like a 65.  AND if i make an 82 or above (which is completely possible) i will have a B!  ^_^

i have to go do two little psychology experiment things ——- OFF I GO.

i’ll write again later because i’m bouncing off the walls right now awesomemememe.

+ i really love levi and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him

+ kubota IS my child.  i caught myself talking about him tonight for over 20 minutes.  he is precious

+ i am watching south park and they are talking about sex.  ”putting his hoo hoo in her cha cha”

+ tonight was really hysterical.  boys are ridiculous.

+ i am fucking thrilled that i got a new tv!!!!

+ Christmas break could not come soon enough

+ i kicked ass at halo 3 last night .. now that my whole tv screen is visible again !

+ i would really like to find a way for levi and me to move to wisconsin for 2-6 months .. some way some how

+ i am dying to live closer to kayla & aaron, and i know levi couldn’t agree more

+ my parents are the most amazing people in the whole entire world.  they are my best friends and always will be.  best role models i could ask for.  i hope and pray i’ll be just like them.

+ i am soo ready for my new clothes to be delivered right to my front door!! :]

+ i think i’m going to make some turkey bacon w/ syrup of course

+ i wish i had bread to make a grilled cheese.  shitfuck!  [all levi’s fault]

+ i’m going to be a junior in college! <— that is crazy

+ major: addiction studies, minor: psychology.  grad school here i come ://

+ soo happy to have new friends

+ levi is the best thing that has ever happened to me!

+ having ADD sucks .. i would do anything if i could be more focused and organized.  it would be even greater to simply be able to finish a damn sentence!

+ i’m really glad i decided to go to uca

+ i <3 my home

+ really enjoying everything about life lately

+ excited about next semester — SO excited !

+ yay for december!  it’s almost Christmas time!!

<333

tonight with holly & leah!  i haven’t seen holly since before thanksgiving holiday so i am thrilled to get to see her!  i guess we’re going to some venue to see some band.  yep, that’s about all i know.

it is freeezing outside. eep!

i have a psychology test tomorrow at 9 that i’ve completely blown off but hey, it’s college. my alarm will be set for 6 am for a hardcore study session.  phuck school!